I am in an incredibly “wah” place. 3 exams next week, all science, a physics re-sit (fuck) and a biology and chemistry exam, (also fuck). I worked it out that I’m likely to have 16 exams this summer with re-sits included, and I could physically break down and cry at the thought. Even though I have all this mad pressure, the thought of the numerous (and I mean numerous) people I’m going to let down if I mess everything up, the thought of not being able to do what I want to next year, at uni, in the future ect… nothing is motivating me to work properly. I have hit a wall that’s been up for the past 2 years and doesn’t look like it’s coming down any time soon. Everybody’s talking about their plans for next year and it feels like I am the only person who doesn’t have a clue what to do, partly because I hate every subject, partly because I’ve developed this mentality where I feel I’m not clever enough for anything. Every single lesson I attend every single day makes me feel stupid because I know nothing. There’s so many expectations for me to do and people keep saying I’m so clever, they don’t understand how absolutely awful they make me feel. If I can’t even man up and get through GCSE’s, well then god help me for the rest of my life. I am a mess.